Daughters

Saturday was exactly 4 months or 120 days until my daughter's wedding. They held the shower this past weekend, in order to confuse and deflect her from knowing when it would be. After all, the closer it gets the more certain the bride can figure out when the shower is planned.

It was a beautiful day for the shower, hot and humid, but no rain, a typical mid-July Saturday on Long Island. The venue was great. They went out of their way to make everything perfect for my daughter. The air conditioning was on high, too!

I waited there until my daughter showed up with her fiancé, using the ruse that we all were invited to our friends' 33rd wedding anniversary surprise party. Which, of course, it is but also of course, it wasn't. She walked in shocked, not recognizing some of the people, which, of course, she wouldn't, since they were friends of her future mother-in-law.

Her fiancé and I went out to lunch with some friends during this time. I have a pretty good relationship with her intended, which makes it better than if I didn't. That would be a difficult time for us both. Kind of like Archie and the Meathead. I thank the Good Lord we get along, more like I did with my father-in-law.

Now, I will say this: no guy is really good enough for any man's daughter. Even if you have many daughters, no one is ever good enough. We love our sons but we cherish our daughters. We know our sons will be able to care for themselves, because we raise them to be strong and tough. But our daughters will ALWAYS BE our little girls. And daddies and daughters will always have a special bond.

Some of the best movies are about father-and son-in-law relationships: Father of the Bride (both versions), Guess Who is Coming to Dinner, Guess Who, the In-Laws, (both versions), and even mob movies like The Godfather trilogy, Goodfellas and Analyze This had underlying themes of in-law issues. So did comedies like Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers. I am sure you could think of others, as well.

As you can see, it doesn't matter the race or religion of the characters, does it? All dads feel the same about their daughter's intended. And this year, especially, it has never been more clear to me how other dads feel. Every wedding we have been invited to this year, the dad was a relative or friend of mine and his child was his daughter.

Like me, he holds his daughter on a pedestal even higher than her mother, because this woman is his art, his creation. And every artist reveres his work. So to all you prospective sons-in-law out there, let's just say it's not you, it's us. Don't take it personally.

Because some day, after your children are born, and grow up, if you are lucky enough to have a daughter, you, too, will feel as I do. And consider yourself blessed.