Sticks and Stones?

This is a sensitive subject that warrants discussion in a civilized and reasonable tone. Recently, I was at an event when I heard the "N" word used by several African-American men and woman like they were asking for a Coke. As a white man, I have always found that word offensive, along with those words which denigrate other races, ethnicities and religions.

When I worked for Home Depot after I retired from Banking, I was the night shift department supervisor. I had several black men on staff who were hard-working, but also very gruff. One night, as I was walking through the store, I overheard two men bantering in their conversation by calling each other that word. When I confronted them and said it was totally inappropriate and unprofessional, one  man said they were using the word ending in "a" not "er".

I said that it didn't make a difference, that I was offended by it. Later, an older black man on my team came up to me and thanked me for addressing the issue. He explained that he tried to tell these men that he grew up in Georgia as a kid, and was called that word constantly. He was a couple of years older than me, so I felt a bit of empathy for his point of view.

I can tell you that my siblings and I were raised in a home where prejudice and discrimination against blacks and other minorities were not acceptable behavior. It was not a "liberal" household by any means. But it was a home where decency, respect and acceptance of others, different from us, was the norm, the "Christian" way to behave.

I found the actions of Bull Conner, George Wallace and others repulsive to my sensibilities. As I grew older, and became more worldly, I found myself more and more working first for the civil rights of Blacks, and later, for the rights of Hispanics, women, gays and other protected classes.

I saw a movie this past weekend called "The Butler". It wasn't a great movie, but it did provide a message to all of us who remember the struggles of the 60s. There was one line, I think, which summed up the attitudes of young blacks and their elders, when Forrest Whitaker's character said, "I know I could be a good  house nigger," to which his mentor replied, "Boy, don't you ever use that word again; it's a white man's word."

To my African-American friends, as a white man, I hate that word, whether it ends in an "a" or any other sound. I implore you to educate your children, grandchildren, relatives and friends that it is a word from a terrible time in America's past, that needs to be left there. And to others who are not black, don't be afraid to voice your disgust to those who use it like it's acceptable, normal speech. It's not.

The sooner we realize that words hurt, especially this one, the faster we can bring ourselves as a people, a country, to a more civilized place. It is in all of our best interests.

This was the true message Dr King. He would be appalled if he were alive and heard that word today.